Adelaide Fringe Festival preparation- approx. 3 weeks til take off

Well darlings, we are about 3 weeks away from jetting off to Australia.
Anyhow, Victy and I have begun what Victy refers to as 'the preparation phase'. There is a huge build up to this phase involving many lists being made, many tins of food being purchased, strange hats and shies being ordered off amazon. I have hardly seen Victy in weeks!
So she sat me down last night and we had to have the 'preparation chat'. I hate this chat, because it means to have to look at all the lists, try on all the hats and shoes, and go on a tinned food diet for the time we are still in our bedsit.
This is phase 1 of preparation- Victy will slowly phase out the purchasing of fresh food stuffs as she hates to have to throw anything away when we leave. It is so frustrating- she makes me eat absolutely everything in the house, even the last scrape of mustard from a jar. A clean and empty fridge is apparently a good thing in halfy land.
I have now got three weeks of meals with at least one canned element to look forward to.
I am also looking forward to be woken at the crack of arse by the postman every other day as he delivers us huge varieties of hats and shoes that are aerated and not too heavy so we can take them over in our 20 kilo luggage allowance. (We have ordered a bucket of 50 plus sunscreen to meet us at the airport as there is no way it will fit in the suitcase). Somehow we must take accordion, saw, ukulele, mr little red book, mr hammer, miss sickle, a whip and a ping pong ball as well as clothes, shoes, hats and at least 5 bottles of duty free gin.
Not quite sure how it is going to work.
We have had our first moustache party and are on schedule for making our 10,000 half moustaches. ( oh, for those of you who have not been to one of our moustache parties, it is a party that aims to lure you in with the promise if good food and gin and stimulating conversation, and essentially becomes forced labour for several hours. I can be quite persuasive when I need to be darlings.)
We will be having another moustache party very soon, as we still have 8,000 to go.
Well darlings, I must go. I am being summoned to look over yet another list- Victy wants to know what underwear I am taking.
I say it will be 35 degrees- who needs underwear?
BB x

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